Well, it is 5:11pm on Friday, July 23rd. I have been so patient and open and calm. I have had my moments of fear and sadness, but overall i have been extremely patient. Since my last hospitalization when this whole process of getting on the transplant list started, i have known to just have faith and it will happen when the time is right. Well, I have waited and i am sick of waiting. It can't take it much more!!! I just want to get the show on the road. I think i feel this way because i have completed all my "tasks" at hand. I have all my medication lists, pharmacy lists, advance directive, doctors appointments, medications ordered, laundry done, special things for the hospital purchased, patio cleaned, desk cleaned, tp stocked up, and everything is in order. Well, there is a lot to do always, but I have been working hard this past 2 months and i am finally done with everything except packing my bag. I even backed up my computer today. I AM READY. I am ready for the thing I have been avoiding my whole CF experience.
I had a dream last night in which i pulled the CF out of my lungs and i could breathe.
I have been visualizing my new lungs, and saying the loving kindness mediation for my future donor and their family.
I have read up on lots of stuff about lung transplant.
I am ready.
I am strong.
I am going to kick ass!
BRING IT ON!
Right now i feel like the universe isn't in control, i can just see my papers sitting on someones desk at blue cross collecting dust, forgotten and lost.
Please don't forget me!
I am ready to live and fight and rock on.... now lets go!!!!!!!
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