Honestly, I don't think there are words to describe the miraculous experience that it was for me. No matter what your religion or spiritual practice, there is no denying that the Dalai Lama is a powerful being. He eminated light and kindness and hope. Every fiber of my being was lit up from just simply watching him walk through the doors of the Ronald Mcdonald House. There was the hustle and bustle of the secret service, the papparazzi (that were supposed to be there) and his translator, his fellow lamas. He had an entourage, but it didn't take away from the amazing grace that this man exudes from his soul. He literally walked through the doors and it just felt like a burst of sunshine. EVERYONE's breath was taken away. We were in a room of children, and there was SILENCE, absolute silence. It was an awesome moment. totally awesome.
He is such a memorable and famous person, yet so familiar and safe. One of the kindest people I have ever met. Let me qualify this, he is ONE of them ONLY because i have had other personal experiences with lamas before this. Lamas, are the kindest people you could ever meet. Their touch is soft, and comforting, but firm with direction and intention. They have smiling faces, and kind eyes, but they are full of wisdom and depth. All the Tibetan Lamas in my experience have had this experience for me.
I can't quite quantify or explain this event that took place yesterday. The timing and the magnitude of the situation that unfolded just is so humbling and incomprehensible.
I have been gravely ill twice in my life, NOW, and when I was diagnosed with CF. When I was diagnosed with CF my mom took me to see Lama Gangha. We spent many days together while he gave me blessings and honored me with herbs and special "Lama Gangha numi-nums" as i called them. They were small balls of black incense/herbs that were blessed for me to ingest. I have had magical experiences. Lama Gangha was my friend. I forgot about Lama Gangha for a while when i was growing up and became a teen. The memories faded of our times together. But recently it is all flooding back to me. The taste, the smells, the touch, the feelings, the healings. I need it.
The experience of needing a transplant forces you to dig deep inside yourself, into a place where maybe you never thought you needed to go. Mentally it is taxing. It forces you to find peace and comfort. Many turn to their different faiths. I have heard many stories of those who have found god, because of this. My understanding of this experience is that there is a karmic connection to these lamas. I can't explain the fortune that has been bestowed upon me at this time, this time in my life, in my greatest time of need, that the Dalai Lama would appear and I would be welcomed beyond all odds to share in this auspicious experience.
When i learned that he was coming, (back when i was at my sickest in this journey towards transplant) I just knew I needed to see him. But how could that be? Why should I be so lucky? Who am I to get this experience? I am not a practicing buddhist, those are the people, the people who know of his greatness and follow him, those are the people who should see him. Not me, how could i be worthy of this? But the little voice inside my head told me that I would be there. Now, it isn't a complete miracle that we were there, but in many ways it is. My mom was the orchestrator of the Healing flags project at Ronald Mcdonald House. This was something she was consulted about when they began the new flags project in honor of His Holiness. So we assumed that maybe we would be able to attend. Well, as it turned out they had to make decisions about attendance, and it was only allowed for their biggest financial contributors and the sick children from the house. Obvious choices. So as of Tuesday we believed there was no way we could attend. However, on Tuesday night at 7pm my mom's cell phone rang, it was Honey, the executive director of the Ronald Mcdonald House. She had mulled it over, and it just didn't feel right to her that I could not come. I am so gravely ill, i need all that i can get as i work towards my transplant. This is what she told my mom (quote obviously summarized). She bent the rules, and we were allowed to go. We had previously filled out the paperwork needed to attend, because my mom had helped to install the flags, and she did so in hopes that we might go. How awesome was that? Thanks mom!
This experience truly was the greatest gift I have ever received, as of now. The ability to attend and the blessing I received.
When he entered the room, he touched many of the children, asking some what ailed them. One boy, sitting infront of me with his father had liver cancer, and his surgery was scheduled for that day, but the doctors agreed to postpone it so he could meet the Dalai Lama.
He just spread healing and light to the whole room. He spoke for a few minutes about the sadness of children being ill, but if looked at with a new perspective it isn't sad. They can find other ways to look at it. He also spoke of Tibetan medicine.
He traveled around the room, blessing the children, and some of the parents who were there. The house provided white silk scarves to be used for the blessing, this is traditionally known as, kathas. I stood up and moved forward from my second row seat, to the front, where he could reach me when he came by.
Once he reached me, time stood still. He knew exactly what i needed. He went to quickly put the katha on my neck, and took my hands in his, and realized i needed more than that. He stopped, and looked me dead in the eye, staring. I don't know how long this actually was, my mom thinks it was about 30 seconds or so, but it felt like time stopped. With all hope and openness i looked right back at him dead in the eyes. I have not been this close to many people in my life. But this was close. He held my hands, and looked into my eyes, and then kept looking and touched my face, and my hands again. When he finally let go, I could barely utter "thank you". It was the most intense experience of my life. It was such a personal experience I can't share all that I learned from it, and i will continue to learn as it settles in my body. But i can tell you that I heard my mind yell out to me "Woah, NOW, I am ready".
His Holiness also held my moms hand, and offered her a blessing. This was such a tremendous gift for both of us. A culmination of lifes work for my mom. For her project to be honored and seen by the Dalai Lama himself! WOW. I don't think she even understands the magnitude of that either.
We were not allowed to have cameras or I would have included a picture. But there were paparazzi there, and the pics should be available to the house at some point, and we will get some i am sure. I can't wait! But until then, i will leave you with this...
Om Mani Padme Hum
Namaste...
4 comments:
what an amazing honor! I can only imagine what that experience felt like. That you for sharing with us.
Wow, that is really awesome! I would love to meet him, what a true blessing. He is amazing.
I hope your encounter provided extra strength while waiting for the transplant all the way through recovery.
My daughter, Tina, was listed for transplant right around the time you were listed. I hope you both get the call very soon and can support each other through this challenging time.
All the best to you!! And your mom too!!
Dear Anna, I am very touched to read that the opportunity came to add you to the list of people invited to meet with the Dalai Lama. I made two flags for you and hoped that you would be there. You are in my heart! Each time I hear a helicopter fly over, it jumps and I think, "For Anna?" One day I know we will hear the good news. Much love to you. (I remember the numi-nums.) XOX
"The experience of needing a transplant forces you to dig deep inside yourself, into a place where maybe you never thought you needed to go. Mentally it is taxing. It forces you to find peace and comfort."
This resonated with me-I hope that I will find peace and comfort in facing the suicide of someone I've loved.
Thank you for sharing, Anna. I think of you.
Post a Comment